WWC 2011 Ridiculous Predictions: Team France—Possibly Less Chokey, Less Drama Queeny, Than the Men

I base this on the following ridiculousness:

1. Eight players from Olympique Lyonnais, which, let's admit it, really sorta beat the hell out of Potsdam in the Champions League final, even though said team has fewer national team members, which, in the grand scheme of things, probably means very little at the club level. Or not. Think of it: Team France has eight players who've worked together for months and make football pretty and tough, like a Joan Jett video, friends. And, sure, Lyon had Schelin on the pitch, which only helped seal the deal for Lyon, but wouldn't you want Schelin on the pitch? Wouldn't you? Huh, Sundhage? Maybe over Rodriguez? And maybe over Cheney or Morgan. Admit it. You would.

2. Don't know why I worked Schelin into a post on Team France. She speaks French, though. And she's pretty fucking awesome.

3. Abily, Abily, Abily.

4. Team France once had Marinette Pichon and Stephanie Mugneret-Beghe. This, IMO, make them epically good. I don't care what you say about this.

5. Abily, Abily, Abily.

6. Camille Abily can control the midfield in a way I'm afraid few others cannot. Looking at you, Hingst. You, too, Boxx, so don't front. Let's see what you bitches can do.

No Conny, No Sonja, No Anja

Sure, it could be argued that the German national team has been desexified in certain areas, but, hey—yay Müller!



Tor
1 Nadine Angerer 10.11.1978 1. FFC Frankfurt
12 Ursula Holl 26.06.1982 FCR 2001 Duisburg
21 Almuth Schult 09.02.1991 Magdeburger FFC

Abwehr
3 Saskia Bartusiak 09.09.1982 1. FFC Frankfurt
10 Linda Bresonik 07.12.1983 FCR 2001 Duisburg
15 Verena Faißt 22.05.1989 VfL Wolfsburg
20 Lena Goeßling 08.03.1986 SC 07 Bad Neuenahr
5 Annike Krahn 01.07.1985 FCR 2001 Duisburg
4 Babett Peter 12.05.1988 1. FFC Turbine Potsdam
2 Bianca Schmidt 23.01.1990 1. FFC Turbine Potsdam

Mittelfeld
19 Fatmire Bajramaj 01.04.1988 1. FFC Turbine Potsdam
7 Melanie Behringer 18.11.1985 1. FFC Frankfurt
18 Kerstin Garefrekes 04.09.1979 1. FFC Frankfurt
17 Ariane Hingst 25.07.1979 1. FFC Frankfurt
14 Kim Kulig 09.04.1990 Hamburger SV
6 Simone Laudehr 12.07.1986 FCR 2001 Duisburg
13 Celia Okoyino da Mbabi 27.06.1988 SC 07 Bad Neuenahr

Angriff
8 Inka Grings 31.10.1978 FCR 2001 Duisburg1
16 Martina Müller 18.04.1980 VfL Wolfsburg
11 Alexandra Popp 06.04.1991 FCR 2001 Duisburg4
9 Birgit Prinz 25.10.1977 1. FFC Frankfurt

I love Germany. I love Duisburg.

WTF.

When Linda Bresonik Comes to Boston

(Which, okay, I know it's extraordinarily likely that she just fucking won't, but, whatever—bear with me.)

Tony DiCiccio, let's hope, will not be her coach.
She can wear Puma instead of Hummel (although I bet she'd prefer Hummel).
She can drink Diet Coke here, too.
She'll guarantee Cox's spot on the bench.
She'll love Jamaica Plain.
Hell, she just might love Provincetown.
She can scoff at the numbers on the pitch at Harvard Stadium.
She could wear the captain's armband. I mean, she could.
I will go to the games again.

Oh, heavens.

"Das Bizarre" and friends celebrate Simon's indoctrination into the love triangle/threesome/whatever-fucking's-next German drama story line, and what's really only a matter of time when her name starts showing up in shit like this.



Welcome, Simon. Clock's ticking.

Hi there.

Dzsenifer out, Conny in. Or at least that's what this says in German. Few things bring me back from the dead, but how could this one not?

The bad news for Fräulein Pohlers is that she's been talking shit on Sylvia Neid since she wasn't initially selected way back whenever that happened, and for this reason, I smell disaster waiting to happen. It smells so awesome.

Now here's something I haven't done in a good long while:



And for what it's worth, this widely posted picture of Simon, having graced 1,001 dyke sites and message boards to date, has made my week. And if those girls can have some fun, why can't I? Here goes:



Ahh.

But what the fuck did they do to Garefrekes?

Good News, WPS Fans! The Players Are Stoked About Their New Uniforms!

Thank you, username ShopWPS, for such an insightful blog post today! You have NO IDEA how much better I'll sleep knowing that Leslie Osborne agrees that they are "bold, colorful and have a great cut."

Pros Excited to Sport 2010 Kits

Breakers Begin Pre-Season the Way They Ended 2009

Breakers Fall to Sky Blue FC 2-0 in Exhibition Match

Awesome, dudes.

Breakers Tie Kids Under 20 2-2, Ex-Season Ticket Holders Thinking, "Oh, Fuck No."

Breakers Draw with U.S. Under-20 WNT, 2-2, In Preseason Exhibition

I admit I have regret sometimes—not renewing my season tickets for the Breakers 2010 campaign. Sometimes I feel like I've turned my back on women's soccer, waiting, twirling my thumbs until the big announcement comes that the women's professional game has once again come to a halt in the United States (and like anyone would notice).

But then I think about all the Mondays I lost to the mental anguish of bullshit, nonsense, fucking Amy Rodriguez Breakers defeats. Lots and lots of Mondays—the most toward the end of the season. And, you know, the Breakers of the WUSA had a tough first two seasons, too, but those women played with far more heart and passion than anyone that makes up the Breakers lineup today. And that goes for Kristine Lilly. Boston Breakers 2001-2003 lost a lot, tied even more, but not once did you want to punch a wall when watching them. (Ask my living room about this, won't you?)

So, when I see news like this posted on bostonbreakers.com, like it's something exciting, or even something to SHARE—11 PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES CAN ONLY TIE IN MATCH AGAINST GIRLS STILL TOO YOUNG TO DRINK, should be the headline—I ask myself again—still feeling like a sellout? The answer, my friends, can be found in the title above.