7.02.2014

As the Title of This Blog Suggests...

Behold! Sydney Leroux and Ali Krieger in, yes, short shorts!


I just did some research to prove this, but, seriously Google, can you NOT provide me with any official stats for 2014? Let's just say that, you know, Abby Wamback is out on injury and Alex Morgan just came back from injury, so, for the most part, Sydney's had to pick up the slack.

Sydney Leroux: fast girl in Nike short shorts always (almost) scores.

Sydney and Ali proceed to show off their incredible bodies in these short shorts, making most of us schedule in a hard workout tomorrow, if not right now. Check it out.


6.26.2014

Battle of the WWC Beasts: 2015's Sheúme the Owl Versus 2011's Karla Kick

I don't know how I'm feeling about Sheúme the "young female great white owl" as the 2015 mascot for the Women's World Cup next year, but the Canadian PM's wife seems happy enough about it.



That said, in 2011, we had Karla Kick, who, I have to admit now having seen Sheúme, seems kind of fierce, even in all her Pokemon-ness.


Of course, this year's men's tournament has Fuleco, the armadillo, as its mascot. 


Cool thing about this dude is that he has his own Facebook page, with over one million likes. True, that's a lot of pressure for an owl, but lets hope she represents well.

6.24.2014

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Hope Solo?

Remember how good she looks naked.




















Remember her cat-like instincts.














Remember her great patriotism.














Remember she's stronger than you.

6.09.2014

WWC 2015: Let's Get Ready for the World Cup! (Not the One You're Thinking)

Okay, so, I get an email this weekend letting me know that, as of June 6, we are officially one year out until all the powerhouses of women's football congregate on some artificial pitch somewhere in icy Canada. There are even countdown clocks. God! There's even an on-sale date for tickets, with fancy "passport" deals that look rather neat! I am stoked for this, needless to say.

Yes, I know the men's tournament begins on Thursday. I'm excited for that, too. But nothing gets my blood pumping quite like this:

FIFA Women’s World Cup: Germany on Top

Oh god! Who doesn't love it when Germany's on top?! According to that article, they're kind of dominating the scene in European qualifying matches, having been grouped with Ireland, Russia, Slovakia, Croatia, and Slovenia. So, yes, they lead in goals scored—any by a very, very wide margin. The way I see it, if the Japanese, for some reason, don't show up in Canada next year, the Germans will totally take the cup home. Yup. Just as long as the Japanese call it quits.

This is Anja Mittag and team celebrating goal No. 4 in a qualifier against Slovenia.
Notice how bored Kessler looks.
In related German girl news: Saskia Weber totally effed up her leg in FFC Frankfurt's match against Turbine Potsdam (Frankfurt won, then lost to Wolfsburg in the women's Bundesliga final), tearing her posterior cruciate ligament in her left knee and fracturing her tibia. She managed to do both while colliding with her own goalkeeper and heading the ball into her own net. Clearly, this moment on the pitch had to be a total goatfuck all around for Frankfurt. Anyway, Weber is guesstimated to be out of action for 10 months, which makes her fitness-readyness for the cup a little iffy, don't you think?

Saskia Weber is smiling here because she has (1) not yet scored a completely and utterly idiotic own-goal in a pretty important Bundesliga match and (2) has not yet broken her leg and torn a ligament as a result. Total train wreck.  

Moving on to another continent, the teams participating in the African Women's Championship, which will serve as World Cup qualifying matches, have finally been decided: Zambia, Algeria, Ghana, Cameroon, Nigeria, South Africa, and the Ivory Coast will join tournament hosts Namibia. The tournament begins in October, and I'll be damned if Nigeria doesn't advance. Who are your picks for the other two teams to advance? I'm thinking Ghana and South Africa, but I have quite a bit of study to do before I can comment even kinda articulately about women's football in Africa.

More good news: the group draw for next year's cup is scheduled for December 6 in Ottawa.

Bring it on.


6.04.2014

YouTube Gets Queerer Than Usual for LGBTQ Athletes

And I, of all things, find myself with a crush on Robbie Rogers. WTF?


USWNT Update: Sydney Leroux Wants to Sell You Chocolate Milk, Plus Other Stuff (Alex Morgan)



That said, a girl needs to pay the bills. More importantly, a girl deserves to make as much money as she wants when she wants. 

All that said, I don't believe she drinks this stuff post-match. I just don't, Syd.



In other less consumer-products-related news—ankle injury be damned! Alex Morgan may be available to play during the U.S. Women's National team friendly matches against France this June. Well, thank God. But just in case, Jill Ellis has invited at least two new-ish faces to training camp: Sarah Hagen, who's playing with Bayern Munich in Germany right now, but will return to the States to play in the NWSL with FC Kansas City, and Amy Rodriguez, who had her moment to shine, then had a baby, and is now a lot better with her in-game decision making, I hear.

Oh, and Abby Wambach may be on the sidelines for a little while, having sprained her lateral collateral ligament (that is so Dr. Seussian) during a match with the Houston Dash. This prediction is only mine, however, since she's expected to have a "swift recovery." This is likely the language of her agent and/or manager, since fans of U.S. women's soccer is still smarting from Ms. Morgan being away for so long.

5.29.2014

REPOST: Fast Girls Presents: Sex and Violence (Exhibit Part 1)

Because women's football has both. Thanks to all photographers for capturing beauty in all its moods. Email fasteronesblog [at] gmail.com if you'd like a photo credit and link.

College fight. Date unknown.
College fight 2. Date unknown.
Sylvia Arnold, all fours. Germany. 
Elizabeth Lambert versus BYU and then the world. Date unknown.
Nadine Kessler. Germany. 
Kelly Smith and someone who hates her right then. Date unknown.
Amy Rodriguez, heels up for Brazil. 
German foursome. Date unknonwn.
Submission 1. Japan vs. New Zealand, 2012.
Submission 2. Wolfsburg. Date Unknown.


Originally posted 9/17/12.