Notes on My Swedish Friend

1. Picked up by women's Bundesliga (Germany) team over the winter break. Fairly excitable news coverage on this acquisition, and some murmuring regarding romantic links to you-know-who has been popping up here and there in the occasional tabloid.

2. Said the team's locker room is like being in a "Swiss jewelery shop--it's all shiny and pretty, but you can't touch nor afford a thing."

3. Confesses to nearly falling faint when seeing No. 9 in the shower.

4. Teammates do the "Wayne's Word guitar thing" when she first enters the pitch for practice. They confess to liking her band, but few could name a song on the new album.

5. Admits to spreading legs unnecessarily wide during post-practice massage. Reports that therapist took notice, allowing her fingers to brush the uppermost insides of her thighs.

6. Confesses that team therapist is "the hottest German woman ever."

7. Is pumped to face Duisburg and finally see IG in person.

8. Thinks IG's pointed, manicured fingernails are "repulsive. But they must look good when she's working that cock."

9. Reports that LB is also sporting the long nails and promises to check in on her status with CP.

10. Will send photos.

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