Is it just me, or is something not right?

J: Hey.
K: Hey. Are we locked out?
J: Door’s locked, yep.
K: Weird. Are you scheduled today?
J: I thought so, I mean, I think so.
K: I know I was, but not you. But hey, it’s good to see you!
J: You, too. How’s your break?
K: Good. Got lots of stuff done, you know, around the house. Lots of family time.
J: Me, too. It’s been nice to step back for a while.
K: Yeah. Hey, do you have an extra cigarette?
J: Sure. Sure thing.
K: Thanks. I don’t smoke in real life. Not really, it’s just that…I don’t know. I sort of miss it, maybe?
J: Ah, that’s a bad sign.
K: I know. I mean, I thought so—oh, thanks. Can I have a….
J: Yeah. Let me.
K: Mm. Thanks.
J: That sound…that’s too much of a satisfied noise for a real-life nonsmoker.
K: It’s terrible, I know. But—hey—you know, I’ve never seen you smoke…um…‘off the set?’ Ha.
J: I only smoke when I’m nervous, really.
K: Oh?...Oh, okay. So, um, are you married?
J: Yeah. Six years.
K: No kidding? What’s you’re, uh…what’s….
J: Michael.
K: Oh, sorry. I didn’t want to be presumptuous. Um…do you have any kids?
J: No. You?
K: Three-year-old.
J: Ah.
K: Penelope. Penny, we call her.
J: Cute.
K: Mm…Well…I wish she’d unlock the door already.
J: I’ve been waiting now for…oh, Jesus…for days.
J: Yep.
K: Loyal like a dog, you are!
J: For an unpaid gig, no less.
K: Ha! Yeah, well. It pays and it doesn’t.
J: When you figure out how this pays, you let me know.
K: Well, I’ve never had so much sex in my life.
J: Ha, okay…fair enough.
K: That’s payment, sort of, in a more…hey, I’ve just got to ask you now.
J: Hm?
K: Is there anything I’m doing during those…is there anything I’m doing that’s not particularly gelling with you? I mean, because you can be sort of…I don’t know what word to use to not offend you. But the word I want to use here is ‘stiff.’
J: Stiff?
K: Well, not really into it, I guess. And I just thought that maybe I should check in with you in case there was something I was doing….
J: No, wait, wait…I think I’m supposed to be stiff at this point.
K: Well, I didn’t really know….
J: No, I know. There’s lots that I…uh…there’s lots that I know that I don’t think you know yet. Not to sound like I know it all, ‘cause I don’t, but….
K: No, I know. I just wanted to….
J: Don’t worry about it, okay? It’ll, um, it’ll turn around sometime soon. If you can trust me on that, and you can.
K: I don’t want to stub out this cigarette. How pathetic.
J: I have more. Go ‘head.
K: So, uh, how much more do you know?
J: Ha ha, um, well…probably too much, you know, but…oh hey. Oh, fuck. I know enough to tell you that that doesn’t make any sort of sense.
K: Oh my God. Is that…is that her?
J: Hey! This way, all right?
M: Hey, fuck you!
K: Oh, nice. This is starting very well.
J: Is she…she is out of her mind.
M: What the fuck did you just say to me?
K: She’s not talking to you.
M: And I’m not talking to you, so shut the fuck up.
J: Why wake up the neighbors? Come here and talk to us. You don’t need to shout.
M: Oh, fuck you. I don’t need either of you.
J: Um…what is her name?
K: I…I don’t….
J: Marianne, come here! It’s all good.
M: Fuck….
K: Maybe we should just let her….
M: …You!
J: Just come here. We’re both waiting, so wait with us.
M: Why is it that every time I’m supposed to meet you….
J: It’s all good, come here.
M: You’re with her?
J: What are you talking about?
K: Dude, you are quickly going the way of River Phoenix—look at you.
M: Why is that?
J: Come here. Just come here!
M: Fuck this. I’m out….
J: Can you hold this?
K: Sure, uh….
J: Marianne!
M: Don’t you even….
K: Maybe you should just let her go. Maybe, I don’t know.
J: It’s funny you’re saying that….
M: Leave me alone!
J: And I’m the one….
K: Just let her go, Julia.
J: …Chasing her down the street. Hey!
M: Let go of me!
J: Stop it!
K: See…you should’ve….
M: Let go!
J: Would you stop kicking…Ow! Cut the shit!
K: Nah, see….
M: Let go of me! You’re a fucking cunt!
J: Will you just give me a break and stop fighting for a sec….
K: Oh, see…she’s already gone and called you a cunt.
M: Let go! This doesn’t even make sense!
J: Tell me about it!
K: Hunh…see.
M: This makes no fucking sense. I should be able to kick your ass! I fucking weight train! What do you do?
J: Well, I’m apparently very good at holding girls down, yeah?
K: Ha!
M: You shut up! Fuck you!
J: I’m so happy all these fuck yous are for you and not for me.
K: Yeah….
J: Can you get up with me and just relax for a while? You must have the worst headache by now.
M: I don’t want to go over….
J: You’ll come with me. It’ll be all right.
M: I just don’t want….
J: Get up. Can you get up on your own or…oh, okay, get your feet.
M: I’m not talking to her.
J: That’s okay. You don’t have to talk. You could, you know, tell me what you took, though, if you want.
M: It’s fucking nothing…who cares.
K: Yeah…who fucking cares.
J: Shh!
M: What did she just say to me…?
J: She wants to know what you took.
M: What the fuck does she care?
J: Well, I, for one, would like to know if you’re moments away from dying in my arms right now. Just, you know, for personal reasons.
M: No, no such fucking luck….
J: Okay, are you sure?
M: Yes, yes…you’re holding my arm too tight.
J: Oh, sorry.
K: Huuuunh.
M: Oh, stop sighing! I should fucking deck you in the face!
J: Okay, okay. Let’s just stand here and wait for the door. And maybe just be quiet for a second, all of us, maybe.
K: Does anyone want a cigarette?
J: No, not now for me, thanks.
K: Arms full?
M: Can you hurry up with them?
K: Oh, quiet.
J: No! Hey...just, hold still. Here. Take it.
M: I need a light. And you don’t need to be touching me anymore.
J: Sorry.
K: Here.
M: Mm.
J: Same noise from earlier, different woman.
K: Yeah, real clever.
M: What?
J: No, it’s nothing.
K: It’s something Julia and I were talking about, from earlier. You weren’t here yet.
M: Oh, you know, you can still touch me if you want.
J: Oh…?
M: Yeah, maybe if you stand behind me. Yeah, that way.
J: Is this...?
K: Jesus Christ….
M: Yeah, that’s better. Can I just lean back against you? My head hurts less now.
K: Is the door open yet…?
M: Is it…? Please say yes, ‘cause if not I might die out here.
K: Let me check….
J: Wait—is it just me, or is something not right?

1 comment:

meg said...

Thank you! For not making me wait. For not making them wait, even though the door is locked.

This is hilarious! Them, but not them, knowing them. I like the outside look into your characters, from your characters players. This is really an interesting idea. I think you should fly with it! Once again very impressed with your dialogue. And simply very glad to hear you voice.