Hope Solo Kisses, Proposes to Carli Lloyd

Oh, wait--sorry. I got that wrong.

But guess who won the gold? Oh, you really don't know yet? Ha ha! Lucky media-free bastard!

The unlikely hero, of course, was Carli Lloyd, who risked having her head taken off by the rising knee and foot of Abby Wambach to ensure she scored the first. The second, if she didn't score, having hung on to the ball from midfield, dribbling and dribbling and dribbling, with players open on the flanks and up ahead in the 18', but then finally, all by herself, nailing it into the corner of the net, tucked neatly away from the Japanese keeper, I'd like to think her teammates would have strangled her. Right there, you know, on the pitch. No, though. Carli, with all her self-importance, "shined."

And if Carli shined, Hope was radiant, nuclear. Best hands/reflexes, worst mouth in the world.

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