FIFA U-17 WWC: Mexico Scores First for North America; Asia Is Topping Everyone Right Now, and Harder Than Christian Grey

Now, my queue of matches to watch on ESPN3 is growing by the day, but let me comment anyway on things I have yet to see. Mexico scores first for North America, and so happy to see that, since I sorta predicted they would, because--hey--not every team attends a World Cup tournament just to sing and dance. (Ahem.)

Brazil breaks my heart once again, falling hard and often to the Japanese. Five-nil. Seriously? What is happening, Brazil? Well, I know what is happening, yes, with your lack of funding and support from your enormous football-loving country, but...oh! Remember the good ol' days? That said, I'd like to note that it's hard to score, meninas, when you're flailing on the ground, trying to kick the other team's keeper in the face. It's smart thinking, okay, but still hard to do.

And my Germans...yes, the kids are just as tall and efficient and striking as the U-20's and senior squad. Ghana gave them a little trouble, but still: How can any team with a Venus up top fail during an opening match? A Venus who plays for Potsdam? No team. And, sure, Venus didn't score during the opener, but she will, friends. She will.

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